Relationships are not easy. But the only way to succeed for the long haul is to foster good communication between both people. While partners might stay together for years if they don’t communicate well with each other, they’re not going to share a happy marriage. Unless both partners are able to discuss their feelings openly, things will remain hidden and enshrouded in secrecy.
How can you know someone if they are hiding their truth behind a curtain?
While communication is essential, boundaries are also important. And if these are communicated at the beginning of a relationship, then both parties know what they’re getting into when they commit to each other. And Dr. Phil invited one couple onto his show to talk about the strict “rules” that one boyfriend demands his girlfriend to follow. Are these boundaries or are these rules insanity? Dr. Phil tries to unravel the truth and come to a healthy middle ground.
Cory and Elizabeth have been together for three years. They fell in love at first sight, but now Elizabeth hates the way her boyfriend treats her. She approached Dr. Phil for some help because his strict rules have become overbearing.
“I am the king. It’s my castle. If you want to be my queen, you need to follow the king,” Cory said. “I only have room for followers. I am the leader, and that’s the way it’s going to be.”
Cory is much older than Elizabeth. She was twenty-two when they met while he was thirty-four. She admits it was “love at first sight,” but now she says that “Cory is very controlling and narcissistic.”
Cory has a lot of rules that Elizabeth must follow if she plans to be his “queen.” For example, he expects her to:
Look after the baby at all times without any help.
Enjoy the $100 allowance that he gives her each month and never complain about it.
Never talk to other men.
Her friends must be Cory-approved. If he thinks they’re a bad influence, then she can’t be with them.
Cory must know her passwords and can monitor her social media usage, emails, and phone calls and texts.
Elizabeth cannot know anything about Cory’s private life like his passwords or his finances or salary.
In other words, he must hold all the power if she wants to be with him.
Cory also limits how much time Elizabeth can spend with her father.
However, Cory disputes much of what Elizabeth says and, regarding the time she spends with her dad, he explains, “She shouldn’t be dating her dad, she should be dating me,” Cory explains.
Cory has had other children with multiple women. They were smart enough to get out from under his controlling ways. But Elizabeth is stuck with him and tasked with raising their son.
“Elizabeth is very needy. She uses her breastfeeding as a way of [getting] attention,” Cory said.
Dr. Phil was powerless to help the couple. In the end, Cory gave Elizabeth a choice.
“The door has been open since the day she arrived. She can leave at any time she wants to.”