If this isn’t the most satisfying thing you see all day, then your day must be unbearably satisfying.
This is a story about James Callender and his magical yard pimple.
That’s right, human beings aren’t the only acne-prone bodies making their way around. As it turns out, the earth sprouts a decently-sized pimple every now and then, and sometimes, people catch it on camera.
In this case, that person is James Callender’s wife, who seems intrigued by the land bubble, though not nearly as intrigued as her husband.
It rained heavily in the area before the video was shot, so much so that water had pooled below the grass until it could sink no further, continuing to accumulate beneath the surface. Gradually, this caused a bubble to form in dear James’ backyard, and he absolutely loved it.
In the video, you see him taking the grass bubble in, admiring it for its natural buoyancy. He will eventually step on it, and it will be a fraction as satisfying for viewers as it surely is for him (though even that fraction seems more than enough), but he won’t be doing that before he gets a few good pokes in.
See, while James might not have extensive experience in dealing with lawn moisture bulges, he does know that any bubble will shrink to nothing if it’s made to lose its pressure.
So, depressurize the bubble James did. Using a tool that may or may not be meant specifically for this task, he poked a series of holes at the bubble’s base. His joy during this task was so clear that it prompted his wife to comment on his enthusiasm, saying “You’re having too much fun.”
That would be true for anyone else, but there’s no such thing as too much fun for James Callender. He pokes his holes exuberantly, then takes his steps atop the bubble. It moves around his footsteps exactly as you’d think it would in a dream.
But this is not a land bubble that would give in without a fight. Even with the holes James poked, and even with his average weight moving the bubble hypnotically, the water would not yet give. So, in a stroke of brilliance, James conceived of the next step in his plan of action: poke more holes.
And poke more holes he did. At this point, James’ wife grew concerned with the possibility of a snake hiding in the bubble. James, too man enough to think about snakes, continued to poke holes. This time, rather than scatter the holes across a larger surface area, he poked repeatedly at a single spot, forming a large hole.
Then, gloriously, he stood atop the bubble once more. This time, mud spewed like fountain water through the opening James made. Gleefully, and to the utter satisfaction of those joining him in the yard and the unseen millions of viewers, James shifted his footing with grace, making more water spew from the hole.
This is an early Christmas gift for all to enjoy. James Callender, you keep on popping planet Earth’s pimples.