Lifestyle expert and chef B. Smith’s husband, Dan Gasby, has come under fire for recently revealing that his mistress lives with them. The living situation is unique because B. has been living with Alzheimer’s since her 2013 diagnosis and Dan has been her caretaker. The couple have been married for 26 years and while he continues to care for his wife, he also has a girlfriend.
He met Alex Lerner in 2017 and they became friends, but their relationship eventually became romantic. While Dan is B.’s full-time caregiver and husband, he recently began sharing photos on social media of his girlfriend and did an interview with the Washington Post explaining the relationship and living arrangement.
Alex has a room in the married couple’s East Hampton, New York Home when she comes to visit and also shares some of the caregiving duties.
In a Facebook post, Dan shared a link to the interview and further explained to those who have attacked him: “I love my wife but I can’t let her take away my life! 5-10 years from now when many of you who will have an almost predestined meeting with Alzheimer’s because of genetics, obesity, and a myriad of inflammatory diseases, you’ll be wishing for someone to share moments with and ease the pain of loneliness and despair.”
People are divided over the matter, with some believing Dan and Alex are abusing B. and that this arrangement isn’t fair to her. Others, particularly those who have had a loved one who suffered through Alzheimer’s, have a better understanding of how the disease impacts a family and feel that Dan’s arrangement is justified.
Dan had explained that B. is having memory and recognition problems and though they’ve discussed his relationship with Alex, it’s unclear if his wife fully understands.
Dan took to Facebook with a follow-up after taking so much heat, noting: “To all those who are living my life situation and texted and called me last night with words of support. I deeply appreciate your words of support and advice. As those of you who know me you also know B would be amazed and disappointed by the response of some people.”
He continued: “I on the other hand knew what to expect and will keep on keeping on! I just wonder if B was in the same situation would these same people lash out at her! Bottom line I will continue to do what i/we B and I did from day one upon starting the memoir of our life with the beginning stages of Alzheimer’s our book BEFORE I FORGET!”
Dan further noted: “Sweetie you wanted me to tell our story straight no chaser and I’m doing just that! And as you knew from being in the restaurant business so many people who dine out just don’t understand the menu so their default move is to complain! Keeping my promise to you about living out loud and truly telling ‘our’ story!”
Among the many critics were those who brought up their marriage vows, as one commenter noted: “whatever happened to till death do us part, in sickness and in health?”
Another commenter added: “I’m truly hurt by the blatant disrespect you are showing your wife. Surely, you don’t believe you’re honoring her when you flaunt your girlfriend so publicly. B warrants your highest honor, not your leftover obligatory care or concern.”
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