For years, one woman had a single-minded goal. She wanted to start a family with her beloved husband. But things were not going according to plan. No matter how hard they tried, she simply could not get pregnant. She began to feel depressed. She did not know if something was wrong with her – but that was what she suspected, so she underwent testing, hormone treatment, and many other interventions – until her husband revealed a secret he had kept from her since the day they first met.
After going through hell in an effort to get pregnant, the wife learned that her husband got a vasectomy before they had ever met. Instead of telling his wife this fact about his reproductive health, he allowed her to wallow in grief and to suspect that something was “wrong” with her health. Now she has given her husband an ultimatum – either he can reverse the vasectomy, she can use a sperm donor, or they can get divorced – so she can find a man who shares her dream of starting a family.
In an effort to get some help from the internet community, the wronged wife turned to Reddit where she shared her story and opened up about the horrors her husband had put her through.
“My husband 50M had a secret vasectomy 10 years ago while he was married to his first wife. When we met 5 years ago, he never disclosed this information, and we got married 3 years ago. We have been trying to have a baby, obviously without any luck until we opted to do IV in December 2018 which was unsuccessful. Last month, I looked at all our test results, and it hit me that his zero sperm count several times on sperm analysis can’t be normal and suspected vasectomy. I confronted him about it, and he admitted he had a vasectomy and was hoping it will reverse itself naturally; hence he never said anything.”
Not only did the man undergo sterilization, he apparently thought it reversed itself on its own.
“I feel very angry, betrayed and hurt that he allowed me to go through the emotional roller coaster of thinking I’m infertile and to even suggest IVF while he knew what the problem for us not falling pregnant was his vasectomy. It is difficult to trust him now.”
She then asked people for advice.
“Should I stay or should I divorce him and get someone who will be honest with me and who I know I’ll still have children with? I feel cheated and time is against me. I’m very conflicted on what to do, please advise.”
Most people online agreed that she should dump him. Because he lied about something so serious and then allowed her to suffer through infertility treatment, he certainly betrayed her and proved that he was not reliable.
“If I had known 5 years ago that he didn’t want any more children, I could have made an informed decision to stay with him or not. He took that choice from me.”
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