When his college girlfriend became pregnant, a 21-year-old man convinced her not to have an abortion and vowed to take sole responsibility for the child. When the baby was born, dad fell in love and did as he promised. But two years later, the single dad, now 23, realized that being a parent was much harder than he suspects – and now he wants to abandon the toddler so he can stop resenting the boy.
The single dad opened up about his feelings online, indicating that he needs help deciding whether he should give his two-year-old son up for adoption or if he should power through and keep being the boy’s father.
However, now the single dad is wondering whether he made a mistake. He writes: “I felt that (the abortion) was against my beliefs (btw I’m not pro-life, I feel like the option to abort should be there for people that don’t believe what I do, but this is what I thought was right for my child),” he wrote on Reddit. “I was graduating that year and already had a pretty well-paying job lined up so I felt that I could provide for my kid.”
In theory, he thought being a single dad would be a piece of cake – and would probably earn him brownie points with the ladies – but when the baby started growing up, dad realized it was so much harder raising a toddler than he thought.
“I just feel so tired and secluded from the world. My only friend is my son, between work and him I have no free time. All I do in my free time is go to the park with him, watch kids’ shows, etc. My mom lives kind of far away, but she visits every few months and lets me have some alone time, but it’s not enough.”
The young dad has learned the hard way that the movies are not real life. Contrary to what he saw on TV, he “can’t” date because he doesn’t have the time, and his “parent responsibilities” have prevented him from getting ahead at work because he can’t take on special projects.
He writes, “I just feel unfulfilled and alone, and it has started to take its form in a little bit of animosity against my son, and I never want that to happen. I want to be a great dad that loves his kid, but I don’t think I can be that, I’ve tried for two years. You always hear about this undying love you’ll have for your kid but I just never had that.”
Dad then asked the internet community if he would be an “a**hole” for putting my son up for adoption? Please give me your perspective.”
Although this 23-year-old admitted he has no love for his son, the boy “has started to form an attachment to me and that it would be unfair on him to leave him and unfair on his grandmother that also has a good connection with him. But what makes me think I’m not an a**hole is that I think that his childhood would just get worse the more lonely and unfulfilled I feel and that he’s better off with a more stable family.”
People online showed him no sympathy. “You signed up for this,” one wrote.
What do you think about this dad’s situation?
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